I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
