did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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