So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
