Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
