Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
