this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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