I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
