don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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