I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
it's like iHOP with fire
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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