his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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