Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
