I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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