I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
