Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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