At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
