It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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