Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  margs and chips and queso make the world go round

  (1-757): View more from Virginia

  well and inertia

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  (757): margs and chips and queso make the world go round (1-757): well and inertia http://tfl.nu/cjuy
  Replies (7) Good night (1563) Bad night (489)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.

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  (402): she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home. http://tfl.nu/joow
  Replies (48) Good night (646) Bad night (2067)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.

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  (403): you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned. http://tfl.nu/4rjg
  Replies (14) Good night (3703) Bad night (699)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?

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  (203): We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad? http://tfl.nu/ilwk
  Replies (37) Good night (7917) Bad night (1411)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone

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  (219): By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone http://tfl.nu/czmq
  Replies (8) Good night (4075) Bad night (905)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.

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  (647): i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces. http://tfl.nu/7l8v
  Replies (3) Good night (3357) Bad night (1107)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.

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  (920): He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer. http://tfl.nu/1gb8
  Replies (1) Good night (1675) Bad night (815)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket

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  (703): I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket http://tfl.nu/mrk6
  Replies (11) Good night (1423) Bad night (3092)
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  (661): View more from California

  i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance

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  (661): i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance http://tfl.nu/ezzs
  Replies (4) Good night (800) Bad night (486)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.

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  (330): shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon. http://tfl.nu/iapt
  Replies (5) Good night (1334) Bad night (537)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire

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  (484): if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire http://tfl.nu/0try
  Replies (14) Good night (2490) Bad night (794)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.

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  (904): You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish. http://tfl.nu/q7o6
  Replies (4) Good night (1932) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.

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  (928): Well I was going to go home but vodka happened. http://tfl.nu/0ttq
  Replies (4) Good night (714) Bad night (253)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.

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  (503): Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick. http://tfl.nu/mpmj
  Replies (9) Good night (669) Bad night (361)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me

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  (+44): Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me http://tfl.nu/vnu7
  Replies (1) Good night (235) Bad night (366)

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