went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
