Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.