I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.