Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.

(407): View more from Florida

I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.

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(860): You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you. (407): I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige. http://tfl.nu/6i4m

Replies (1) Good night (1490) Bad night (479)
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(515): View more from Iowa

i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.

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(515): i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty. http://tfl.nu/51bx

Replies (13) Good night (620) Bad night (3329)
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(334): View more from Alabama

I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out

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(334): I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out http://tfl.nu/mv9d

Replies (42) Good night (913) Bad night (3809)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with

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(978): you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with http://tfl.nu/g7w5

Replies (41) Good night (1076) Bad night (5328)
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(858): View more from California

Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?

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(858): Why do you apologize after every time we have sex? http://tfl.nu/3g2b

Replies (27) Good night (789) Bad night (8375)
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(757): View more from Virginia

You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....

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(757): You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors.... http://tfl.nu/43xp

Replies (4) Good night (3527) Bad night (1908)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.

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(606): Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas. http://tfl.nu/5seh

Replies (3) Good night (1354) Bad night (1409)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.

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(978): I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters. http://tfl.nu/m77a

Replies (10) Good night (2897) Bad night (717)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me

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(978): There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me http://tfl.nu/i0wj

Replies (8) Good night (2838) Bad night (848)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.

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(812): Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand. http://tfl.nu/f9hd

Replies (9) Good night (716) Bad night (3432)
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(561): View more from Florida

There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it

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(561): There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it http://tfl.nu/iil4

Replies (8) Good night (1241) Bad night (528)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.

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(250): WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME. http://tfl.nu/12ba

Replies (7) Good night (632) Bad night (1410)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.

(1-250): View more from British Columbia

We are the best.

(250): View more from British Columbia

Ps. We need to take the garbage out.

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(250): Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job. (1-250): We are the best. (250): Ps. We need to take the garbage out. http://tfl.nu/i0yw

Replies (4) Good night (894) Bad night (466)
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(678): View more from Georgia

He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.

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(678): He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker. http://tfl.nu/0g20

Replies (4) Good night (1026) Bad night (348)
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(339): View more from Massachusetts

I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo

(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm cool with that

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(339): I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo (781): I'm cool with that http://tfl.nu/a1rl

Replies (3) Good night (1377) Bad night (320)

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