In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
