i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
