You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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