I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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