Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
high people should be assigned attendants
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
