I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize