well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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