If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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