My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Hippo gnu deer
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
