remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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