i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize