You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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