I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
