I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
