Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
