she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
