She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
