Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
