You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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