Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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