Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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