All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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