It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
