xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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