I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
