so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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