The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
