Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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