Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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