If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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