so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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