I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
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