ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
