is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
