She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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