what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
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when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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