I accidentally had phone sex last night
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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