i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
So squirting runs in the family.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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