He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize